Thursday, 17 January 2013

Dear Father Z and Mark Shea

Dear Father Z and Mark Shea,

I am writing to you because I believe you are read by the largest number of Seriously Catholic Single Men in the USA and Canada, or certainly ought to be. Personally, I write my blog for Seriously Catholic Single Women, and after reading their thoughts about Seriously Catholic Single Men in America, I have a request.

Would you please ask the Seriously Catholic Single Men of the USA and Canada not to mention Theology of the Body on the first date? The Seriously Catholic Single Women of the USA and Canada do not like discussing sex, no matter how marital, on the first date. Even secular humanists just out for what they can get tend not to put their sexual cards on the table until the third date.

Frankly, it makes my readers blush. My readers don't even know if they are even remotely attracted your readers yet, and there your readers are, saying, "So... Christopher West. Ever heard of him?" It rather ruins the mystery, Father and Mark. A nice Catholic girl doesn't know what to say. Obviously she wants to make a good impression on Seriously Catholic Single Men, but that doesn't mean she wants to discuss mutual gifting on the first date.

Additionally, it would be kind if you reminded readers that Catholic dating websites often conduct orthodoxy tests on their members when they sign up, so there is no reason for your readers to behave, on the first date, as if they are volunteers for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and the women across from them at the coffee tables of the world are Mary Daly, alive again and in disguise. They aren't.

The whole point to a first date, as apart from a first winkie on a dating site and an introductory email in an In-box, is to discover if a man and a woman have any spark or sense of rapport when they meet in person. It should involve polite, lighthearted and humorous chit-chat or, if there must be a deep, soulful discussion of something, a deep, soulful discussion that does not involve the most private thoughts and most personally held beliefs of either party. There is a reason dates used to be preceded by a trip to the cinema: it gave the man and the woman something neutral but shared to talk about. A man who needs to discuss women's ordination on the first date gives the unpleasing and heterodox suggestion that he thinks his date might personally bring it about.

On behalf of my readers, dear Father Z and Mark Shea, uncrowned earthly vicars of the anglophone segment of the Catholic blogosphere, I ask for your intercession in this matter.

Auntie Seraphic


Update: Thanks, Mark! :-D Ooh la la, the spike in hits. It's not every day Seraphic Singles hits 1,000 before bedtime. my book? But, seriously, something had to be said, and since men famously listen to other men even when they don't listen to women, I'm glad Mark (so far) has said it.


Bee said...

Thank you, Auntie. This was hilarious. And sorely needed. I sincerely appreciate your efforts to encourage older, wiser men to be better mentors to young men.

However, I do wish these two gentlemen weren't the only sources for my brothers in nationality. There are "normal" AND faithful-to-the-Magisterium male writers (married and not) at Ignitum Today and maybe a couple at Patheos. I'd even prefer a regular reader of Busted Halo than a Fr. Z devotee.

And while ToB is not most gals' cup of tea during the getting to know you dates, I must say, I would be immediately enamored with (not put off by) a date who might say "So, have you ever read Love and Responsibility? Karol Wojtyla's mind is so awesome." *swoon.*

Jam said...

"'Mutual gifting'? He'd better be talking about splitting the check."

Seraphic said...

Oh well, you know I have only so much blog-reading time and Father Z and Mark Shea loom rather large in the Auntie consciousness. I'm trying to go for maximum impact on your behalf, and I know Mark (at very least) is a good sport.

Whatever you do, don't start eliminating men by which Catholic blogs they read. This is not what we in these parts call "a core value."

not a minx, a moron, or a parasite said...

Ah, I have such love for your blog! Spreading this around on Twitter.

MaryJane said...

Thanks for interceding for us, Seraphic! :)

Seraphic said...

You're welcome! I'm sorry some trad-sounding boys seem to be getting a kicking in Mark's combox because, really, I just don't think they know what's appropriate and what's inappropriate at this point. It's a confusing world.

MaryJane said...

I saw that! And nice reply, too. If they actually came to the blog they would see the coffee creed we profess ;)